Saturday Morning. I slept in late. And when I woke up, the scenes in my mind’s eye was like the soft, beautiful sunshine at dawn. I drowned in them.
The first thing I did was to tell my roomie that I saw a dream. Not any dream. I was working in ‘his’ lab. The Professor who had been my Obsession for six months now… Yeah, they tease me on this. Call it my Crush.
Could have been a teenage fancy. But sorry, I have left the golden age of adolescence behind me. Some advise me to keep away from him since I wouldn’t be able to concentrate and do any work of worth around him. Others ask me to wake up.
I have heard them all. But they are all wrong.
I have always wanted to be a scientist. As far as I can remember. Long before I knew the word ‘research’! In fact, I can’t quite place the exact age such an idea flowered in me.
I have a memory of an ice breaking session in a camp I had been to. I was probably 12. We had been paired, and each one gets a turn on stage to speak of the partner. Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam was the President of India back then. My partner went up there and declared that my ambition was to be a scientist and that my role model was Dr. Kalam. I distinctly remember someone’s remark about my short hair. He wondered whether I was following the President’s hair style!
Tracing back, I know for certain that I definitely loved science in 4th grade. We had an amazing teacher who was my very first role model, hero or whatever you wanna come up with. Let’s name him Mr. Stork because I remember a picture of this lovely white bird in our Science textbook. He left my school a year later. However, I tracked him down recently. Last Teacher’s Day (Sept 5th in India) that is. He was frankly surprised to know that he had been my inspiration. It’s not that hard to understand actually. Because I have never uttered a word to him outside an academic situation.
It’s something that happens to me. I like somebody a lot that I absolutely adore them. Look up to them. And I don’t want them to be disappointed in me. I want to know them. I want to get closer. But the closer I move, the harder it gets to interact. Because I know I might slip up and make a mess of everything any moment. And I would lose their friendship forever.
It’s a muddle of emotions that come impulsively out of the blue. So strong that it pulls me at my roots. That’s the way it works for me. Do you get it? I hope so! 🙂
Something of that sort went on with my Professor as well. I’m gonna call him – Dr.Friendly. Now, I have got over my fascination with him a bit. Since I told myself that he is only human. Just like I am. 🙂 To understand this story better, I will have to tell you how I got here at Bangalore all the way from Kerala.
My Dad is a Braveheart. Who told me,
“It’s still not too late. You can do it. I know you can.”
Those words were courageous. Because… I did lose everything at one point. Almost got to the end. And then I felt how strongly my dream was anchored down in the depths of my heart.
If you want to know how much you love your dream, just try losing it…
Today, I am part of a scientific community. Surely, God had a hand in winning their favour. And that’s precisely what I prayed before I walked in for my interview. He worked his magic and opened my eyes to a world I have longed to belong in. Doing Science.
Imagine that you have been made a prisoner for life. You are granted one chance to keep yourselves from going mad. The gift to do something. To make a difference to your time. You get to choose the activity you can pursue every single day. Let it be a vibrant, interesting job to do. Or else, how would you ever feel motivated ?
What I chose to be passionate about was Science. It was so obvious a thing. Like my soul knew my destiny. I don’t know anything yet. There’s so much new out there.
“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.”
One day, I can look back to the memories that made me a Queen. But for now, there are miles to go before I sleep. And I get to make strangers my friends!
From the day I met him, Dr. Friendly has been my new idol. A bond of understanding. Somebody I can trust. A researcher I want to learn from. A heart with goodness. Maybe I’m just another student for him. But what I see in him is as natural as instincts. Not a grain of pre-mediation. The impressions from his introductory lesson were made without my active involvement. Honestly, those thoughts of mine didn’t have time to think!
I have dreamed of being a scientist all my childhood. All my life. And now I hope I could know one for real in him. Then One Day, I’ll be like him. Finally.
~/> Did you have a Dream that grew up with you? Tell me if you have felt the Passion of a little Dream that can shake your World. 🙂